It Comes Full Circle

You can call it karma or just desserts or any other cliche that will make me roll my eyes (doesn't make it any less true though), but that is what is happening to me... and John. Although both of us are involved, I will take the blame for saying things that made people respond with "knock on wood" will also makes me roll my eyes.

My daughter, Emily, slept through the night early on and I remember only waking up once a night and loving it. I would tell people how she did this when the topic came up about letting a baby cry it out and just blame it on the fact that sleeping a lot was hereditary passed down from her sleep-loving parents. Apparently this 'comedic' excuse was not enough to stop things from coming back around to me.

Emily turned 2 in September... I made a comment to a friend at school that toddlers (for the most part) sleep through the night. Boy was I wrong... at least about Emily.

Last night was a prime example. John and I were woken up 5 times by her screaming from her room for something. The first time was for Popples. When I say this is the most important thing in the world to my daughter, I feel like it is an understatement. Popples had fallen off the bed and my little's world had fallen apart in the middle of the night. I was okay to help out with this problem.

Time number 2 she screamed because she had lost her juice.... it was right beside her but since she doesn't have night vision... or the ability to search for things with her arms... Any way. By this time, I was starting to get upset. It is only 12:30...

Next time she is screaming hungry!! I wanted to scream back, starve!! Is that nice and appropriate and the right way to respond to my toddler? No. Does that make it any less true? Absolutely not.

The next few time ran together... mainly because they happened so closely together! But they were for Popples. Tonight I will try the 'let her cry it out' thing I suppose. I know that she screams for us because we will come and I am pretty sure that was the point I missed when all my friends were going through this with their newborns. A lack of sleep when I don't have a newborn or a sick child (anymore woohoo!!) make my patience terribly short and the house tense. This isn't good!! So all of y'all our there who told me to knock on wood and I refused can now be happy you were right... woohoo...

2012

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.--Neil Gaiman

I read this on a friends page on Facebook and I enjoyed the feeling behind it. Instead of being negative and hating the past year or placing high hopes in something as unpredictable as 366 (2012 is a leap year) days can be, it send you forward with positive and concrete ideas. For those who have had a terrible year in 2011, I hope you have the courage and foresight to learn from these obstacles. 2010 was my year that I wanted to kick to the curb and looking back, I am so glad I experienced that pain because it helped me grow to the person I am today. I am not a perfect person, but I am enjoying my journey now instead of it being a path to trudge down. So my goal is to be the best version of myself no matter what the new year throws my way. To learn and grow and continue to improve myself. I try not to place my self-worth or determination in things I can't control, but I can control how I act around others and I challenge 2012 to help me perfect those skills. To give me practice loving others and learning different point of view. I want to learn new things and be taught new lessons. I have a desire to become a better person and I put that on 2012. The only way I can fail at that or be disappointed is if I am not the best version of myself given a situation. But then, after, shouldn't I learn from that too?