Mommy Confession: Discipline

Emily is finally entering the terrible twos. I thought she had reached this stage a while back, laughing that my daughter was 'ahead of the curve'. Little did I know what the terrible twos actually meant. Emily is beginning to exhibit the characteristics that I want her to have... when she is in middle school and being hit from every side with peer pressure and temptations. Not when she isn't quite two and learning things for the first time. I feel like everything I say to her is 'No!' or do you want to go to timeout? She is so stubborn and honest and independent... and an exact replica of both of her parents. I definitely want Emily to have some independence from us and that ability to learn mistakes on her own, but I want her to know what is okay and what is not. I want to teach her right and wrong now and not let it get out of hand for later. But my worry is I say too many negative things to her and not enough positive. So when she does something over and over that she knows is wrong, I have to be consistent. But I also start to wonder if I am fighting battles that I shouldn't have engaged in in the first place. But if I stop now, will I be inconsistent. How do I be a good mom that shows constant love and deal with a strong-willed child? How do I teach her what is right and wrong and be consistent when she repeatedly does that wrong thing and still be the person she wants to run to for comfort? How do I discipline well and love intensely?